Warden Incident Report - 3 April - filed by Stephanie

[bargeblotter]

[ Text, Warden Filter ]

As we all know, there was a flood on the 28th that turned most of the wardens into children. If anything odd happened during it, let me know, because I was five and not really paying attention.

An earlier report regarding O'Brien's actions was presented here by Paddy.

Oh, Barbossa started a pirate crew. But that was mostly just cool.

Earlier today Perry Dawsey murdered Rex in the inmate bathroom while Crane video-taped. Maybe in Eddie Brock's room, I don't know why he was there at all. Both Perry and Crane have been taken care of.

Eames would like us to note that if you want to murder Crane in revenge, you need his permission first, and Harper has declared his intent to kill anyone who hurts his inmate. If anybody else would like to make declarations of similar initiatives, we might want to put up a cork board and just post them up there. I'm asking for a cork board to be put up in the dining hall. Just to keep things organized, you know.

Anyone with information on the ghost kids were seeing or that cute baby dragon should come forward and share with the rest of the class.

If I missed anything, let me know.

[ PUBLIC to the Admiral ]

I'd like a cork board to be put up in the dining hall, equipped with sticky notes, very dull tacks and pens, in case any more wardens want to make death threats or declarations. Just so nobody misses them. We have to keep our threats in order, you see. Wouldn't want anybody to get hurt because they didn't realize that murder is wrong.

[ Private to the Admiral, viewable to Blonsky ]

Please take away Blonsky's ability to make messages private to anyone but me.

Comments

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

You might want to include Paddy's report of what O'Brien did, and who dealt with it.

[Private]

We might as well put up a cork-board for morally dubious wardens who happen to think threats of murder as punishment are okay.

...The sad thing is, I think the cork board for people who didn't would be less occupied.

voice;

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Right, I'll go find it.

[ Private ]

I was thinking a corkboard might be a good role call for them. Of course, we can only joke about it because you can't punish someone for making death threats in this reality.

Re: voice;

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Also, I think the murder was in the inmate bathrooms, but I wasn't there when it actually happened, so I don't know.

[Private]

No, you can't. Which makes me just as angry as half the other things about this reality, but I sure as hell am going to express how wrong I think it is in public.

So a corkboard it is.

voice;

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I was trying not to watch too closely, so I guess I'll have to trust you on that.

[ Private ]

Well, enjoy the outrage that arises from the masses. I've had enough of trying to reason with these people.

You know what? I'm asking the Admiral for a corkboard. It can go in the dining hall.

[Filter; Audio] Worst. Warden. Evar.

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

What's the point of protecting an inmate when death isn't permanent? That's like saying you can't have safe sex because someone worries about cleaning up the mess.

[Filter; Audio]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

What's the point in protecting yourself when death isn't permanent?

Hey, maybe they're really bad at getting condoms off.

[Filter; Audio]

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

Because I like shooting my guns.

I think you're misunderstanding the metaphor.

[Filter; Audio]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

The only reason there'd be a mess is if you majorly screwed up throwing away a condom. What's there to miss?

Wardens:

[acid_rayne]

Because death sort of might just qualify as 'harm'.

[most_feared]

There is an unidentified non-corporeal entity on board, though it seemed to only have been witnessed by children. This could have been brought about by situational mass hysteria but it might be worth looking into.

There's also a dragon on board. [That my boyfriend rode.] I don't believe it has been located yet.

Rather than opening up a situation where Harper might have to follow through with those threats or Mr. Eames has to defend his inmate, I would recommend those with relatively trustworthy inmates, if willing, provide Dr. Crane and Dr. Lewis some additional protection for the next two weeks.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Oh goodie, we're haunted. It was a nice dragon, though.

Okay, so who's got a relatively trustworthy inmate who's willing to provide either Crane or Rex with protection for the next two weeks?

[most_feared]

Yeah, I petted it. [He was a weird kid.]

Clarification. If there are any wardens with inmates that do not habitually cause trouble so that they won't be otherwise occupied, or with inmates currently in Zero, absent, or are simply unassigned, it may be advisable and appreciated if they helped keep an eye on at-risk inmates or offer to help in some other way.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Okaaay, so let me put it this way.

Who has an inmate who is willing to, for two weeks, put themselves in the direct line of fire for any of those people?

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

Do we know the dragon's name? [While Loki just thinks OH GOD NOT MY PAST. D:]

[most_feared]

Not a clue. It was gold, I remember that much.

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank the gods. I don't know any gold dragons.

[blackbladebitch.livejournal.com]

My recently-assigned inmate, the lady Eris, does have some ability to discorporate herself and travel thusly. I suspect her of having some involvement in the hauntings, but I have little conclusive proof. That said, I shall be watching her closely, and if anything may be proven, I shall handle the matter with all due severity.

For the sake of completeness and for those to wom I have not been introduced, I am Elric of Melniboné.

[most_feared]

That's a pretty good idea. In any case, I think it just scared people. I don't think anyone was actually hurt.

Elric, I'm "K".

[blackbladebitch.livejournal.com]

Nevertheless, it was an unkind prank, and I shall be most displeased if she tries it again. If indeed she was responsible in the first place.

Well met, K.

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

He tried to form a pirate crew?

Oh I love my inmate already.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

He wouldn't let me join, but it was fun while it lasted.

[lotoftrouble.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful. I can't wait to talk with him more!

[strangehistorian]

Permission for murder? That- that's ridiculous.

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure what he meant was that if you try to kill his inmate, he'll beat you up.

[strangehistorian]

Well, of course there would be punishment for an attempted murder! I- is that the best way to go about it, though?